Feathers
I’ve started several blog entries lately about complex feelings that I can’t seem to finish. Life has been stressful and scattered, and so…
I’ve started several blog entries lately about complex feelings that I can’t seem to finish. Life has been stressful and scattered, and so have my thoughts. I feel so locked up mentally and emotionally…like I just can’t find my words (this has been the status quo for the past couple of years). I’m going to push through and not give up though.
When you start opening yourself up to (paying attention to) synchronicities, it seems that you develop your own language together with the Universe. Significant patterns repeat, often via certain words, numbers or through nature (e.g. animal encounters, rainbows at significant times, special shapes or colors, or other), which I take to affirm that I’m in the flow, and/or I’m being guided and protected. I’m not lost, but I’m on the right path.
Enter blue-gray bird feathers. These pastel colored signposts started showing up three years ago after buying property in PR. It was strange how frequently I would be moseying along on a hike on our new property, and I would repeatedly find this one specific color of feather, albeit in different shapes and sizes. I mean, we have hundreds of bird varieties flitting about our mountain farm…why do I only find this one color, I wondered? It was as if some fairy god mother was selectively dropping them on my path from heaven. I started collecting them in a container to remind me of my devoted guides throughout what would prove to be a “dark night” season of my life where I have often felt lost and spiritually abandoned.
I remember one morning going outside in PR to my trampoline for some morning exercise, and the entire black mat was littered in blue-gray bird feathers! There was no sign of foul play (excuse the pun) — no blood or carnage. All I could do is wonder how they got there, what was the takeaway message, and how did they not drift away before I found them?
I left PR about 9 months ago to learn hospice nursing in Oregon. I was sure that the blue-gray bird feather phenomenon was left behind on the farm. Surely they wouldn’t have similar birds in Oregon (I have yet to lay eyes on any bird matching the description of pastel blue-gray even in PR)! But lo and behold, early on I began regularly finding these same delicate beauties…on hikes, on neighborhood walks, in parking lots…the Universe continues to reassure me that, despite losing the job I came here for, and despite being thousands of miles away from home for the year, despite feeling utterly lost and disoriented much of the time, I am still loved, still guided. Still found.
I’ve contemplated why these particular colors. The combination of pastel blue and gray together is soothing, soft, comforting, and complementary. Exactly what I need during a season of high stress, turmoil, and transition.
Feathers are associated with birds who can fly high above any chaos or catastrophe on the ground, maintaining perspective, vision, and a sense of freedom.
Feathers are also associated with nests, comfort, home, all luxuries of security that I need to incorporate in my often times forlorn inner landscape.
Pastel blue is the color of (father) sky, while gray is a color of (mother) earth. It feels like a reminder that even in a season of life where I feel completely untethered and orphaned by my human parents, the guiding Lights of my heavenly companions offer me a balanced complement of divine masculine and feminine energies to nurture and guide me.
Recently, I’ve started paying attention to exactly what is going through my mind or life when I find a feather. Is there more that I’m being shown to pay attention to? For example, Saturday I found one right after a synchronous meeting with a lady in a used bookstore in Ashland. I asked the owner of the store if he had any books on sound healing therapy, and a woman standing right next to me said, “I used to teach sound healing therapy at Portland University.” This led to a conversation that may lead to her training me in this highly specialized healing art. I’ve been wanting to learn sound healing therapy for the past couple of years since reading Eileen McKusick’s book, Tuning the Human Biofield: Healing with Vibrational Sound Therapy, but it’s a difficult skill to be assimilated online. I was hoping to find someone in person to teach me.
At the same bookstore mentioned above, I enjoyed an oracle and tarot card reading by a lady who gives readings every Saturday. It was an amazing experience, how she interacted off of my own subconscious in the meanings of the cards. I have learned so much about tarot and oracle cards — how they are a lost tradition in the Christian faith and are not some form of voodoo fortune-telling. It’s a dance between reader’s and seeker’s intuition, perhaps with some spiritual guidance from God and/or our ascended masters on the other side of the veil.
These readings (we can do them by ourselves too) utilize intuition and symbols to ascertain meaning surrounding some focused intention (a problem, question, dilemma, etc.) from our subconscious selves, which are woven into the matrix of existence, or the quantum field of deeper consciousness that connects us all. When we understand how energy works on the quantum level, it’s not so woo woo after all! If you look into the history, the tarot cards disappeared from Christian use around the same time as the Inquisition and Salem witch trials…when the powerful, corrupt, patriarchal church leaders were on a disempowerment campaign (especially against women, the Divine Feminine essence, and all esoteric wisdom from the ancient tradition), trying to destroy our true healers, our dependent on our inner Teacher, and connection to Source.
I remember not too long ago being wary of card reading because I didn’t understand what it really is. Just like the myriad of other practices that I used to misjudge based on assumptions rather than direct knowledge. It’s not the boogeyman in the closet. It’s not calling up spirits or holding a séance or a satanic ritual. It’s tapping into my deeper knowing self for meaning, understanding, and guidance.
I have a long history of using playing cards for fun, and have always been fascinated by the unlimited arrangements, as well as the meaningful symbols and numbers. I would enjoy the experience of developing my intuition so that I might be able to assist people with their readings. I mean, my card reading experience on Saturday was very meaningful and emotional, full of insight (and tears) into some challenging things I’ve been going through as well as encouragement to stay the course. In short, I felt a measure of spiritual and emotional healing. Just as I was thinking about how much I loved the card reading, I came across this:
I felt as if finding the feather at this time was a nudge to learn more about cards.
Last weekend, I was down in the dumps. Like really down in the dumps. I felt like I had been through a war. I felt bedraggled mentally, physically, and emotionally. I went for a barefoot hike by myself in the woods, trying to get grounded. That’s when I happened upon this. I don’t know if it was supposed to be a mirror of myself or some benevolent force trying to send comfort despite my reflected condition.
I hope we can all open our minds and hearts to the lost connections we once enjoyed to the earth, Source, our own intuition, and each other. There are worlds of assistance and understanding to be gained through the messages being sent our way continuously. Something so simple as feathers or cards can be our teachers and even our lifelines during dark times.
What is your experience with personalized synchronicities? What assurances and guidance have you experienced recently?
Also, do you have any experience with oracle or tarot card readings? I would love to hear your (educated) thoughts (as opposed to fearful superstitions). Have you benefited from the messages or guidance from any card readings? Do you own your own cards of any kind? If so, what are your favorites?