Synchronicity Pt 2
~A truly sacred world allows for a sense of mockery and play that turns the weight of reality around.~ Kenneth Lincoln, Native American…
~A truly sacred world allows for
a sense of mockery and play
that turns the weight of reality around.~
Kenneth Lincoln, Native American Renaissance (Hunab Ku, coyote, #30).
In the last entry, we explored the definition of synchronicities and how they work in our lives as messengers, sometimes leading us toward love, clarity, freedom, and miraculous experiences, while other times leading us into confusion and perhaps (seeming) ruin and dead ends. Today I pick up where I left off with a few compelling messages, including the worrisome one that came about a year into my relationship with Marita.
It was March 30, 2020. I was sitting on the front porch in the sun, enjoying my morning coffee and contemplation, when I received what felt like a very pointed message from the Universe. First, I repeatedly shuffled a deck of shaman oracle cards that I use occasionally as a meditative practice, laid them out in a line, and made a selection. I generally don’t put too much faith in cards. They sometimes seem to carry meaning for something I’m going through at the time, and I can often derive some insights from my unique interpretations, but I don’t rely on them as any kind of definitive voice of heaven. Having said that, on that day, I pulled coyote — a card that Marita said she had also been pulling often around the same time. Coyote, the trickster in animal spirit tradition, is regarded for bringing about chaos and confusion. Add to that, the card came out upside down, which usually means that there is a warning involved or something that needs attention (as if coyote isn’t enough warning on its own)! In my oracle card deciphering book, I read the following (full card here):
“The Coyote is the symbol of the sacred trickster, the one who provides detours for growth and understanding by ensuring that things don’t go as planned. The Coyote brings the energy of divine deception to set you free from the shackles of that which doesn’t serve you. …The lessons offered by Coyote may at first appear confusing, but they are most sacred and always for your highest good. You have set your intentions and turned them over to the Great Spirit, yet you may find yourself lost and confused when it appears you are being led off course, off the path leading to your most cherished dreams and desires. Remember this: Coyote…may be leading you into challenges to ensure that you are ready to handle what you’ve set in motion. Great growth and understanding come to you when Coyote calls your name” (Mystical Shaman Oracle Cards by Colette Baron-Reid).
Right after taking in the card, feeling a little uncomfy about “coyote medicine,” I pulled out the meditative book I was using at the time called the Hunab Ku: 77 Sacred Symbols for Balancing Body and Spirit. (Learn more about the meaning and significance of Hunab Ku here.) I turned to #30 (sun), to match the current date of the 30th. Lo and behold, #30 is Coyote Trickster! (subtitle “Confusion”). The thought then struck me that Marita and I had first interacted online the year prior on the 30th of April! I read on…
“Tricksters appear…to deliberately upset the status quo… Just when we think we’re in charge, Coyote or some other manifestation of Trickster…leaps into our consciousness. Why? To wake us up and to humble us. Tricksters pull the rug out from under us and say, ‘Hey! Maybe your ego isn’t so almighty after all. Maybe you don’t have all the answers. Maybe, just maybe you have a few limitations.’
“Trickster comes into our lives in the guise of chaos. But he’s a wily survivor and he lends us his techniques… Trickster engenders creativity and innovation. He stands things on their heads to help us see them in fresh new ways. …Birthing new out of the chaos of inadequacy, uncertainty, awkwardness, awe, joy, horror, being out of control… Out of confusion we find clarity.
“Why is the coyote …leaping into your life right now? Are you being tricked into thinking a new way? Were you taking yourself way too seriously and now Trickster is saying, ‘Why not laugh about this?’ Chaos theory teaches that when our psychological perspective shifts — through moments of amplification and bifurcation — our degrees of freedom expand and we experience being and truth…Our true self lies there.’
“Trickster is your strange chaotic attractor. He sneaks up on you before you know it and tests your beliefs. …Somebody’s playing a trick on you; maybe it’s yourself [or your twin flame?]. The number 30 is three tens, completion and wholeness tripled. Trickster has come to make you whole!” (Hunab Ku, pg. 118–119).
Oh Geez. Was coyote a good sign or a bad sign, I wondered nervously? The Hunab Ku seemed to offer a more playful and whimsical view on the message and purpose of coyote in our lives — I may not always get it right, I may stumble and fall down, but this life could be considered a playground — a game even — with the opportunity to explore myself to the fullest with a little more whimsy and light-heartedness. If I misinterpret signs here or there, so what? There’s no ultimate loss. A new path will be charted that will be equally meaningful, plus I will be all that much wiser and more attuned to recognizing authenticity and my highest good.
But on the other hand, what about the upside-down aspect? The boldness of the message — with a splash of foreboding — certainly felt significant. In the skin crawling sense. The odds of my pulling coyote twice in one morning along with the number alignment on the 30th surely got my attention.
I remember at that time, I was already feeling particularly confused and insecure about my choices. I agonized practically daily, my heart torn, knowing what a difficult obstacle I had created for Steve (and my marriage) to deal with. Yet at the same time, I felt the irresistible magnitude of my deep love and familiarity feelings for Marita — as if I had known her for ages past. I felt as if I couldn’t live without either of them, but would we all be able to adjust to the new normal? We had so much upheaval to work through, and I felt like I was cause. I also felt caught in the middle — feeling my own difficult feelings of disorientation and discomfort, as well as feeling empathy for both of theirs. It was the worst conundrum of my life.
The awareness of the coyote trickster’s message remained in my consciousness for months while I yearned to discern the meaning. Was I getting off course, leading myself further into a trick, a confusion, a deception? Or perhaps coyote was here to announce a new season, a new birth, a new identity, a shedding of my old ego structures — one that may feel confusing and even painful at times — and that I should put my feet up in the river to allow…allow myself to leave the old container that no longer fit.
One day a few months later, when I was visiting Marita in Alaska, we had a strange encounter. Naturally it got both of our attention when a coyote, who is normally a shy, skittish animal, made an appearance as we were driving on the outskirts of town. When he saw us, he stopped and laid down next to the road about 50 yards from our car and watched us curiously for about ten minutes until another car came up behind us and scared him away. While trying to find the picture to include here today, I looked up the date of that encounter and it was 9/19/2020. For any numerology fans reading along, this is significant with what I’m about to tell you next. In numerology, number patterns and synchronicities can be identified by breaking them down to prime numbers (zeros don’t usually get mention). In this case, 9/19/2020 could be reduced to 3/13/2020. I left the 2020 intact with zeroes for the association we usually have with 2020 vision, and the eye-opening year of 2020 did not disappoint personally or collectively!
We’ve had prolific (and less ominous or confusing) synchronicities since. I won’t belabor them all, but a couple important ones deserve mention. For starters, number synchronicities have been off the charts. Back in August of 2019 when Marita and I were early in the dawning of our love for each other, a certain number appeared in the awareness for all three of us: 313. It showed up everywhere, all the time (Steve and I even followed a trail of synchronicities and ended up buying a certain property about that time with that same number address). Oftentimes the numbers would be rearranged, but they were always together. When Marita was visiting Puerto Rico for the first time, we were traveling in heavy traffic one afternoon, following a car with the special numbers AND my initials! We wondered what in the world was the meaning of 313? Eventually we realized that the astrological sign*, Aries, is #1 in the astrological calendar order, while Gemini is #3. Both Steve and Marita are Gemini, and I — in the middle of my two loves — am Aries. Also interesting is that Steve and Marita are referred to as “astrological twins,” with identical sun and moon signs, as well as many other birth chart similarities.
*Since opening my mind to all the ways beautiful truths had been suppressed in the religious mental shackles of my “first half of life” experience, I came to understand how foundational and beneficial “real” astrology is, as it has been used by seers and mystics throughout the ages (even in the Bible) for gaining much understanding and discernment.
A very cool synchronicity happened shortly after I moved to Puerto Rico in September of 2019, after I finished my summer seasonal job in Coeur d’Alene. The exact date, according to the following journal entry, was 09/30/19 (or 3/3/13 ):
So today, Shucks (Steve) comes outside to tell me that a hummingbird is trapped in the house. I came inside and we worked for about fifteen minutes to carefully coax it out of the house. A few minutes later, he dashes outside again. He’s on his morning conference call for work, wearing his headphones, with a look of panic on his face. And he’s like, “Hey! Can you come in here ASAP? There’s a huge snake on my desk!” I ran inside to check out the scene and sure enough, a 3-foot-long dark, shimmery snake was coiled up contentedly behind his computer — the computer that he had been working at all morning! Apparently, the snake had suddenly poked his head around the screen as if to say hello! I knew that there is one variety of mildly poisonous snake in PR and, not being afraid of snakes, I thought to be mindful with how we handled it. We carefully herded it out through the front door and, thankfully, it was a compliant, friendly snake; it made no trouble for us. Sure enough, a later Google search revealed that it was a Puerto Rican Racer, the only poisonous kind. (How interesting, considering we have never seen a single snake on our property since in almost three years!)
A little while later, I was telling Marita about this event. Assuming she was like most people who are afraid of snakes, I told her, “when you visit PR, I will protect you from the snakes if you take care of the big hairy spiders for me.” She said, “I’m not that afraid of snakes. I worked with a shaman once who told me that snakes are my spirit animal and they have some kind of important meaning, which I can’t recall at the moment.”
As we were talking, and Shucks was standing there, it dawned on me: the hummingbird is my spirit animal — a phenomenon well-documented and talked about in our family due to many unusual hummingbird interactions in recent years. My spirit animal and Marita’s spirit animal both wandered into our new home — with Steve — at the very same time today, and both were gently and respectfully, without fear or mishap, encouraged back into the wild together.
I still don’t know for sure how to interpret this event, but I am confident it has significant meaning that is still unfolding. In spiritual tradition, a snake represents shedding of the old and transformation; a hummingbird represents courage and special powers for overcoming impossible odds. My guess is that Marita and I came into each other’s lives to help each other get free from or overcome some fears or spiritual obstacles together. Steve, Marita’s astro twin and our other twin flame** — is here as our safe witness and to assist us with this process.
**It is reported to be possible to have more than two as twin flames — a soul can (supposedly) split into many.
Many of the strange number synchronicities and unusual events along the way are as yet to be deciphered. But these days I’ve stopped wondering if I’m being tricked, deceived, or led into confusion and I’ll tell you why. I’ve learned over the past three years that the most important indicators of the trajectory of my life and destiny are my heart’s intentions and the fruit I am bringing forth into the world with my actions. I have grown immensely as a person since Marita came into my life (Steve would say the same for himself). My life has expanded with healing and joy in ways I never expected. I am still being honest with myself and others. I am still doing my best to be true to my heart while trying not to do harm to anyone. And I am still focused on living a full, amazing, love-filled, miracle-inducing life. My intentions are pure, the fruit of my actions (so far) is good, and therefore I trust the Universe to interact with me justly and accordingly.
Marita is not a trick. She’s a spark of the Divine who also deserves the opportunity to love and be loved. As co-creators in the image of God, we are here to write our own story. We get to be the creators. If we want to have a successful, fun, surprising, meaningful experience, we’ll receive just that. If we want to have a locked up, predictable, or uneventful life, we’ll attract that too! The only trick here would be believing that I am powerless, and that I must stay in my old container, carrying around unproductive dead weight of narrow thinking, judgmentalism, and stagnancy.
At some point, I knew that I had no choice about loving Marita — the heart loves what it loves. I would just have to deal with my decision to allow whatever came of it. In light of Steve’s agreement to let this play out in our lives and marriage, I had to surrender to the unknown of how he would maneuver, how our lives and marriage would change, and to courageously accept any unintended consequences because to live any less than from my heart was not an option.
Day after day, the outcome continues to surprise me. In fact, Steve and I are doing better than ever! We three together are an amazing trio—a family—and we are doing this. To me the highest intention one can live by is to want to live out our greatest capabilities by facing our deepest fears in order to have the most loving and enlightening impact on this earth. To know and be known. To love and be loved. To feel and be felt.
Recommended reading:
Sidewalk Oracles: Playing with Signs, Symbols, and Synchronicity in Everyday Life
What I’m reading now: