What if I Get Lost?
Credit: https://www.theafricangourmet.com/2016/06/african-proverb-to-get-lost-is-to-learn.html
One of the things I hear frequently from people in post-religious deconstruction, while contemplating the wide, fenceless, map-less road of spiritual liberation ahead of them is, “What if I lose my way? What if I make a wrong turn and end up in some terrible, unintended, frightful (implied “sinful”) place?”
What they’re really saying is, “I am not used to thinking for myself, or figuring out what I feel or believe, or what I want to create in this world without the clear guidance and peer pressure of my old tribe and worldview. I don’t know how to see life, or how to be in this new world. I’ve been trained, contained, and domesticated all these years by rules, expectations, statements of faith, dogmas, certainties, guilt, shame, mind control techniques, and fear-mongering. What if I can’t hack all this freedom? What if I come unhinged and end up in a toga-wearing, pot-smoking, free-love swinging hippy commune somewhere in Utah, reciting mantras under a lotus tree? What if I become…gulp…a New Ager, or equally terrible, an atheist? What if I self-destruct?”
The good news is that there are no lotus trees in Utah, so take a breath. Beyond that, there are even more reasons to distance yourself from these irrational fears.
1. It’s a safe, contained Universe. We’ve thoroughly and thoughtfully established that there is no ultimate loss — no such place as eternal punishment, or eternal separation from God. Getting lost is a construct of the religious ego. You are not going to walk so far down any path that you drop off the edge of the earth and disappear. You are living in a confined, contained Story where you have purpose and belonging. You can visually see proof that light overcomes darkness, and love overcomes fear, hate, and all resistance. Your soul is safe, you cannot get objectively lost. Cultivate some mental safety around this as your foundational truth. I am reminded of two major reassurances the Universe gave me on this quest.
The first was a measuring stick to apply to any and every thought, teaching, philosophy, opinion, or existing belief I encountered that felt foreign or threatening. Does this ___(fill in the blank: thought, belief, teaching, philosophy)___ lead to love (for God, self, and others) and liberation? If yes, then it is safe and good for me to continue this path. If no, then do not choose this path. So simple.
Next were the words that God gave me explicitly the very day I began questioning my long-held religious cornerstone, a very frightening feeling to take on my entire church culture and history with no formal seminary training (a point every pastor and church leadership reminded me of at every opportunity). It was my One Year Bible daily reading for that day (Feb 12, 2009) in Exodus 33, coinciding with my first week of questioning hell.
God tells Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Moses is like, “how do I know that you are sending me? How do I know we won’t get lost? Are you coming with? I’m not taking a step from here if you don’t promise to go with us.” God promises Moses (a type of you, and me, and all of us), “I will indeed go with you! I will hold your hand, guide you, and you will not be alone. You will experience my glory, my compassion, my presence, and my deliverance! You will be safe!”
Which brings us to our next point.
2. Whatever experience you have, is the experience you need. The whole point of your existence as a unique expression of the Divine (a divine spark), is to fully experience this realm with all of its dualistic distinctions, good and bad…and to do it your way. Every choice, decision, and experience you have had up to this point in life (and all that you will have in the future), are exactly the “lessons” or experiences you need to fulfill your objective of transformation — bringing heaven to earth through your vessel— aided by the lessons you will encounter in this world. You came here to do something, be something, and experience something only the way you can do, be and experience it. Not one of your curiosities, choices, lessons, or experiences — good or bad — will be wasted in this becoming process. You can observe this by looking back over your life where life is lived forward and understood backward, noticing how many, if not all, of your experiences have made you a better person. If it does not seem like all of them have, perhaps not enough time has elapsed. So be patient!
3. The “slippery slope" they speak of is sloping into healing and enlightenment, not degradation and destruction! Like any life process, there does come stages and seasons of ups and downs. Having just come off of a nice, cozy, memorable four-year dark night of the soul myself, I’m speaking from heart and experience. The past four years of my expansive journey left me having doubts about my significance, my identity, the meaning of life, and my mental and spiritual safety. For a long time, I felt like I was adrift in a stormy sea with no life raft. Exhausted and at times, hopeless, I was forced to grapple with the existential questions of life in agonizing silence. I felt bereft and so isolated. But therein is the magic.
When caterpillar is inwardly compelled into a cocoon and shuts out the world, she is not aware of what painful changes are going to happen to her until she finds herself in a dark, uncomfortable, isolated chamber. No one can help her with this process; it’s a solo journey. Imagine the distress as she witnesses her previous well-defined form disintegrate into useless, indeterminate goo until all hope appears to be gone. But then suddenly, one day, a shift. A sensation. A little light streaming in from above. She emerges a magnificent creature that is unlike anything her small caterpillar mind had envisioned possible! She can fly with the birds. She can flit between flower-filled gardens drinking nectar. The memory of the cocoon completely fades with such a new, viscerally blissful state!
4. You’ve always been wrong. People are so worried about walking from one mental and spiritual trap into another that they are often even more fearful about being wrong after religious deconstruction. Well, news flash. You were born wrong! Being wrong is the main point of coming into this realm of forgetfulness and does not necessarily imply immoral, bad-intentioned, unintelligent, criminal, or unsafe. You came into a Story you don’t even understand, and for the most part, you’ve gotten very few things right. The more you learn outside of your old rigid (false) mental structures, the more you realize you don’t know…about anything! This is where you have to start the process of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, living from your questions instead of your answers. It’s a much more authentic and honest way to live! Also, being wrong is usually the quickest way to learn a lesson you’ll never forget; we should all try to enjoy being wrong more often!
5. All roads lead Home. Let’s say you do sink down to the gutters of human value, being deceived into New Age (or atheist) philosophies.🙃😁 Is your god so petty as to turn his back on you? Or so uninvolved and powerless (see point #1) that this god cannot search for you, find you, put you on his shoulders, and bring you home (or at least have a fattened calf awaiting your return)? If that is the case, I suspect you have not consciously encountered the heart of the Divine. But don’t worry. You will experience all of the opportunities (#2) that open your spiritual eyes to the Love that you are, have, and will always receive. You will then be “sozo” (healed, made whole), and “telos” (complete, see #3). As one of my sayings goes: It all works out in the end; if it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end.
Activity: Open a notebook and write these words at the top: “Deepest Fear Inventory.” Write down all the fears that come to mind when you think about traversing upon the wide open spiritual playground ahead with few answers, hopefully no leaders (“the kingdom of God is within you”), no doctrines or dogmas, and only one rule of life, “love God, love people” a.k.a. “do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Imagine as you step onto this playground, that you want to be curious. You want the freedom to turn over any stone — read any book, consider any philosophy, listen to any opinion — even if any of those ideas completely challenge or contradict your current or formative religious beliefs.
What fears arise? Write them down. Just letting them come into your conscious awareness will likely defuse a lot of their power. Next, apply steps 1–5 to each of them. See if they hold any real basis or if they merely reveal the layers of your religious disempowerment programming. Ask God to remove these fears and give you an assurance of safety.
Always remember: God/Truth/Love is big enough to walk you safely Home.
*The top photo above was taken from an African web page that offers more good thoughts on why not to fear getting lost.