Photo courtesy of S.D. Marshall-Forgie
Jesus is quoted as saying: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy...”
Who is “the thief”? Is it some nefarious, invisible entity with horns and a pitchfork just waiting for his chance to throw you into eternal suffering? Or could it be that this thief is disguised as an indispensable culture, a friend, or even a safe haven?
Enter Christianity. Is there any other entity that has historically stolen more from the world than this one, under the guise of representing God himself? Wolves don’t often appear as wolves, after all. They come disguised as friendly, meek, harmless sheep.
It’s easy to see how people get numb to the cognitive dissonances covering up the lies and corruption of their own belief system—the one they have entrusted their lives and eternities to, no less. If you are slowly brought from cold water to a boil, says the frog, you can’t tell until it’s too late to save yourself.
My predominant experience with the fruit of Christianity—as evidenced by the behaviors of myself and most of the Christians I’ve known in my life—has been characterized by deep hypocrisy. The problem with hypocrisy is that you never see it in yourself. Everyone else is the hypocrite, but you are the one with pure intentions and kind-hearted behaviors, so you tell yourself. It’s easy to read over all of these hard truths and not see ourselves within:
“Do not do as [the Pharisees and hypocrites] do; for they tie up heavy burdens and lay them on people’s shoulders and do not lift a finger to help. …Woe to you, Pharisees and hypocrites, because you keep people out of the kingdom of heaven; and you do not enter it yourselves. Woe to you hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice the son of Gehenna (an outsider of the Kingdom, or someone worthy of judgment) as yourselves.… For you tithe while neglecting the weightier provisions of the Law: justice and mercy. You are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside, appearing beautiful, but inside you are full of dead men’s bones… full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”
I used to gloss over these passages back in my Christian days, thinking, “yeah, those terrible pharisees and hypocrites! Glad I’m not like those abhorrent play actors who don’t have a real relationship with Jesus!”
But then, upon questioning my long-held beliefs and finding most of them baseless, I began to step outside of my religious experience, look back, and see how I had been duped into being exactly one of those. Without any conscious awareness, I constantly categorized, feared, divided, and rejected people who did not fit into my mold of what was an acceptable and devout Christian (or human).
That tattoo-covered person is obviously not saved (I must have an agenda to proselytize if they show any openness)! …We must not let those worldly people influence our children! …Why is our church letting gay people sit in the pews like they are not living in sin? And didn’t that couple leave their spouses for each other—why are they still attending church as if they are innocent? “You are to be in the world but not of it,” they told me. “You must keep yourself and your family free of contamination by worldly, secular influences that war against male church authority, purity culture, and especially shameful sex outside of marriage, lest you fall away from grace.” As the impossible-to-navigate slogan goes, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
You can’t make this stuff up! Once you awaken to the part you played in these absolute shameful, ignorant, inexcusable “Christian” behaviors in the name of Jesus—how you were brainwashed into behaving like an asshole pharisee without realizing it—it makes your blood boil.
I’m allowed to rant against Christianity because it is the institutional belief* system that I unwittingly suffered under for most of my life…as an insider. I’m allowed to critique my own roots and decades-long subculture—the one that I wholeheartedly believed in and invested everything into with absolute pharisaical devotion.
It’s time for people to call out this reprehensible, regressive institution for what it is: an icon of destructive, authoritative, masculine energy, developed and proliferated by power-hungry patriarchal men (to the subterfuge and exclusion of the long-revered matriarchy traditions), in a time of political and economic instability (A.K.A. the “Dark Ages”). It was instituted as a weapon against the indomitable Divine Spark in every man and woman. It was devised as mind control of the populace, a subversive slave system, and a justification (and even exoneration) to hate and divide, all under the false pretense of “love.”
I do have to admit, I have met a few seemingly loving, Jesus-emulating people in the halls and buildings of churches great and small. And I have met petty, territorial, dishonest, violent, abusive people in the same buildings. I have also met all of the same kinds of people outside of churches. So, I really don’t think one’s faith in Jesus or churchianity has a bearing on whether people are good, honest, loyal, or loving. You are going to find good people just as much on the outside…only perhaps the outsiders are a bit more authentic because they don’t have a wall of shame and eternal hellfire dangling in front of their consciousness all of the time. There is also a lot less disappointment, because no one (outside) is putting themselves on a pedestal—as having arrived at some invincible loving standard that they soon topple from. People on the outside, in my experience, are more likely to be honest about and aware of their shortcomings, and therefore there are fewer surprises and disappointments.
Expected fruits set forth for following the Christian faith. Before I get a bit more personal about why I’m having this rant, let’s consider the list of attributes in Galatians 5 (obtained from the Greek Interlinear): love, joy, peace, enduring passion, gentleness, goodness, belief, meekness, and apprehending one’s inner power (the Greek word, egkrateia, is not “self-control,” but a standing in one’s inner, spiritual knowing and power).
Actual “fruits” of the Christian faith in this world. Untold wars, persecutions, executions, crusades, witch trials, tortures, murders, segregation, subjugation, rape, child abuse (mental, sexual, spiritual), greed, exploitation, and other evils have been and are being committed in the name of or under the title of Jesus and Christianity. You will know them by their fruits…echoes in the deep, yet how often do we pause to hear and scrutinize? How often do we offer our full support and consent to what we want to see, while turning a blind eye to what we actually see?
Getting on a personal level, my empirical experience with the Evangelical flavor of Christianity—via family members, previous church friends, previous pastors, and previous church experiences—is that it is built almost entirely on conditional “love,” fear, guilt, dualistic consciousness, unconscious hatred, and outright lies. It is nothing more than a house of cards. Pull out one foundational card (e.g., there is no hell), and the entire structure collapses shortly after.
Christianity is, for lack of a nicer way to put it, a violent religion full of divisive, unloving language, behaviors, beliefs, and often, people. I have often been the perpetrator (when I was a Christian), and the receiver of such lies and violence.
What brought on this rant? Yesterday, my husband Steve received a matter-of-fact text from one of his relatives who rarely communicates with him. Understand that this is the family member who warned him not to marry me all those years ago because I was divorced, and Steve would be committing adultery, he said. The implication was that Steve was making a mistake and would not have God’s blessing on the marriage. This same family member went through a difficult divorce a few years later, and I graciously and lovingly encouraged him to allow himself to have happiness again should he meet a desirable candidate. He thanked me for my kind and encouraging words. Awhile later he met a compatible woman and proceeded to marry her, and has been living in adulterous bliss ever since.😅
So yesterday, he sent a text that said in so many words, “I would like to bring my wife to visit you in Puerto Rico, as long as Julie won’t be there when we visit.” What he was really saying is, “your wife is a tarot-toting, astrology-reading (okay, he doesn’t actually know about those two things), morally reprehensible human and I don’t want to associate with her. So as long as we can, you know, just keep the contaminated sinner out of our way, we’ll come fellowship with you.” He didn’t specify his issue, but pretty sure it has to do with this development in my life in the last five years. Or maybe it had something to do with this development—how can we know since he did not explain himself? Either way, it’s too much for his little, undeveloped Christian heart to reconcile that I am still a good person even though I don’t necessarily have the same beliefs or don’t live the lifestyle that his largely mistranslated modern English Bible (full of rife contradictions) deems acceptable.
Unfortunately, I’m used to this kind of treatment by family. My own sister turned her back on me about 25 years ago for differences in our Christian beliefs and interpretations of the Bible. Despite 25 years of me forgiving her and extending the olive branch, we still haven’t recovered. According to her, I am dangerous because I am out there, leading countless people throughout the world astray with my liberating message of God’s unfailing love in my book, Raising Hell: Christianity’s Most Controversial Doctrine Put Under Fire. Over the last decade, this book has freed perhaps millions of people from the heinous mental and spiritual abuse proliferated by false Christian doctrine, and placed them on a path of much greater love, security, and connection to God and others. But she sees it as a threat to the clearcut word of God (as taught to her by her pastor and church history), and concludes that I am leading countless people to hell. I could go one for pages about the injustices I’ve endured by my sister and church acquaintances in the name of Jesus and Christianity, but you get the idea.
Oh Pharisee-grooming Christianity…the gift that keeps on giving, dividing families and societies with needless, unJesus-like judgment, trauma, violence, and pain.
Contrast Gavin’s family. Gavin is a young man who came to our property as a volunteer almost 2 years ago and has never left. He’s family now. Gavin doesn’t come from a traditional or conservative Christian family. What’s amazing is that Gavin’s family is one of the most loving, accepting families I know. They don’t need Jesus or church or even religion to teach them how to love people. They accept each other (and anyone their family member’s love) as part of the package, warts and all. They treat each other with respect, transparency, and equality. Imagine that…treating people with Jesus-like fearless love, acceptance, and justice, even without going to church (or more likely because they don’t go to church). Yes, you WILL know them by their fruits.
Who am I writing this for? If you are a Christian, and you support cutting off family members who are not “saved” or who you deem are “living in sin,” I am especially speaking to you. If you are a Christian and you are rejecting a family member over your perceived higher moral ground, or fear of contamination, just stop it. Life is too short. Relationships are too precious. If you support war and violent takeover of land in the name of God, then you need to reevaluate your religion. “My ways are not your ways, and my thoughts are not your thoughts… It’s not by might, and not by power, but by my spirit.”
“Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” (Rom 13:10).
Mic drop.
*I recently learned that early English dictionary rendering of the word “belief” is equally the word “belies.” S and F were interchangeable in the near past.
I am right there with you, sister! My family has rejected me and my kids in the name of Christianity, because I am no longer a believer and 2 of my kids are LGBTQA+. I have never been more happy and free to love others without the constraints of the Christian mindset. I finally am living a guilt free life and it is GOOD! I love you and am sorry this family member can’t see the beautiful human being that is you! I am still going to come see you two in PR. I am knee deep in classes right now, but it will happen❤️
Excellent piece